A MERCIFUL SAVIOR
My days pour before me as an endless chain; and day upon day I tread through a valley of mud.
My life, all that I know, my very existence is lost among this sea of brown.
The way is strewn, before and behind, with obstacles; it is an endless valley of trials.
My legs grow ever more weary as each step I take; and my knees bloody with each stumble.
My mind no longer contemplates the hours or even the days; for each today is as the yesterday.
The life I had planned, the knowledge I have learned, the wealth acquired only burdens my way.
All of my dreams, hopes, my wants and my desires have become as this mire I am trapped in.
My thoughts continually dwell upon the anger of my heart; and my soul slips into dispair.
I cry out to a God I do not know; and my anger is thrown at His face unjustly.
In my dispair I accuse Him of hypocrisy; and I beat Him with the darkness of my heart.
With words heavy on my sinful soul I want to see Him amongst the dead.
I want that He not exist, for where I am is because of Him. He must die that I be free.
Then as I speak such things my step falls heavily in anger upon a stone.
My knees fall heavily to earth; and I curse the heavens above, wondering why I live.
Again I shout aloud in pain as I curse the very day of my birth, wondering why I live.
Then I fall forward, my face becomes buried, and my soul reaches its depths.
Then I begin to think, as I lay in this valley of mud of this world surrounding me.
For I know that my life is but not, and my existence is but in the depths of hell.
A strength utters deep within my soul; and I know that there is a God, a just God.
My arms find there place and I push out of the mud, and come to my knees.
As I kneel there, my arms I hold out, and my head back as tears stream down my face.
I open my heart, my burden I release from my back, and my mind perceives new truths.
I cry out again, this time in agony, for mercy from this God, for Him to do justly.
I seek out His sentence on my life, His justice I plead of Him, my life to end.
Even as I kneel there a voice I hear through the impenetrable fog, the voice of authority.
My body shudders at it's sound, for it is the voice of pure holiness, and unrelenting perfection.
Then as the fog thins around me and begins to lift, I see a hill forming through the mist.
In pure horror I gasp as I see a man atop the hill mercilessly nailed to a cross.
As I stare He speaks again, I am the Son of God. I am also God, and we are One.
I sit at the right hand of My Father; but I saw your sin and I am here to atone for it.
I have humbled Myself that you might be lifted up to My Father's throne; and sit at His feet.
I have only asked that you believe in Me. You have asked, sought, now receive My salvation.
I wondered in amazement at what I had heard, then I saw my garments had changed.
I was arrayed in robes of pure white, robes that would not be stained by the mud I knelt in.
As I looked back up I saw the form of my God coming off of the cross and float down to me.
Even in His wounds and pain He came down to hug me; and as He did my robes remained white.
I rose out of the mud as my Savior ascended into heaven; and the mire beneath me became a field.
Even as the new grass around me reached unto heaven so my joy was fuller.
In front of me lay a path, though full of trials and deceptions, it traversed up into the mountains.
I knew not my way nor the path ahead; but I had God as my guide and I was content in His will.
Dec '00
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